I Cannot Have You

You smile across the room and I know that I love you
But you don't smile at me; I know I cannot have you
What a merciless torment; when I see you everyday
Wanting to touch you, to love you in every way
A million and one scenarios, dancing through my mind
Of your lips; a tender kiss, our hearts and souls entwined
But each glance is like heartbreak, when you look but never see
The love my heart holds for you, the wreck you've made of me
Against all reason and right judgment, I'm sure I love just you
And it tears me up inside because now I know I cannot have you

So leave me to wallow in all the pain you've made
And I will just continue on and live this masquerade
I really need to wash away, all these fantasies and dreams
Because what lies beneath the surface is never what it seems
In some ways I've always known, you were out of reach
But there's something about my heart I could never teach
And you'll never know, the passion and love that you missed
The devotion that I've felt for you, an infatuation I can't resist
It seemed so easy at first; without you I still loved you
But it's so complicated now; I know I cannot have you

Do you see what your eyes cannot?

Do you see what your eyes cannot?
My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.
I buried these feelings deep down inside,
Except in your eyes, for I cannot hide.

I used to think that love was tears.
You give your all, then it disappears,
But when I'm with you I am shown,
Life isn't worth living, when living alone.

I used to see the world in black.
I'd cry for all the things I lack.
I've left behind the pain and guilt,
Tearing down these walls I've built.

I used to hide my face from light.
I lived in a world of endless night,
But there are no shadows on the sun.
Eventually the sun and moon are one.

I used to be an empty shell,
Wishing things I cannot tell.
I try to hide but you still see,
The feelings deep inside of me.

Do you see what your eyes cannot?
My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.

Dreams

I wake from a dream.
You know those dreams that leave you slowly
But you always wish they never ended.
My dreams are like that,
As quiet and soft as a breath,
But as powerful and wild as a thunderstorm.
Like a gentle kiss on the cheek,
It makes its impression and then leaves.
It leaves you grasping on to it, begging it to stay,
But it cannot.
Such is the way of things
That dreams do come and go in rhythm.
If that rhythm ever vanished,
What would become of reality?
Cold and harsh,
It is reality that forces the dream from our minds.
For in the dream, the images from the mind seem real,
But they dissolve, and physical existence is there.
The night holds enough mystery, love,
Adventure and horror to last a lifetime,
But it disappears and we must move on.

A Jaded Portrait

I walk these cold streets
These streets I've walked with you
What's left is a memory
Of dirty alleys and a dismal view
Somehow it looks so different
From the road I've walked before
It's just how I remember
Except you're not with me anymore

I struggle to see the stars
Through the billowing clouds of haze
You gave the stars their fire
The same way you set my heart ablaze
It seems like only minutes
Since your candle's been blown out
Leaving me in wanting
And now I must live on without

Without you I still see you
Locking me in your embrace
Always the romantic one
With a tragically handsome face
Now I'm left in wonder
Marveling at love and life and death
How life ends so quickly
But love continues without a breath

What is left; I bring along
A memory of love without a frame
It's just a jaded portrait
Of a tender face without a name

Along the Fading Line

I walk along the fading line,
Between reality and dreams.
Now this edge is in decline,
And nothings as it seems.

Where illusions feel so certain,
And reality seems pretend.
I'm caught behind a curtain,
When the line begins to blend.

They tell me to trust my dreams,
One day they might come true.
But when I pull apart the seams,
The fantasies begin to skew.

These delusions start spread,
And the limits keep on fading.
Steadily taking over my head,
As the distortion is pervading.

Any mark has disappeared.
It's gone without a trace,
And the line has been smeared.
There's empty in its place.

I walk along the fading line,
Between reality and dreams.
Now I'm looking for a sign,
For nothings as it seems.

Disillusioned

When I was a child I never was told
This world was so wild, unruly and cold
But tragedy never collided this close to my heart
Until Jared decided to tear my life apart
Its something that comes to all but me
Until I heard the drums of my destiny
The light of his candle had been blown away
A death I couldn't handle so I started to pray,
"God, help the people who've wandered afar
For they are the people whom hate did scar."

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

When I was naïve, people always said
Never deceive the one that you wed
What a group of liars they turned out to be
Full of impious desires and hypocrisy
Marriage is holy or so I've heard
But now love is only a fake silly word
Parents tear apart the kids they betray
So with a broken heart, I started to pray,
"God, help the lost children. They cry for a guide.
These are the children for whom your son died."

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

When I was little I was made to believe
You never belittle what others achieve.
The worlds at peace and people understand
That we all need a piece to survive in this land
Racism is dead and Hate's just a word
I would lie in my bed and never had stirred
Until somebody tore my calm world away
I could not ignore so I started to pray,
"God, help humanity. Your people are crying
Please, end the insanity. Poor people are dying"

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

Walking to Your Gallows

You pass me by, you see me stare
Your eyes see a hate that isn't there.
You're walking to your gallows
Alone
Afraid
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unmade

All around you, this world is dust
Just empty words, lies and mistrust
You've tried once but it's all in vain
All you want is to end the pain

You move by without a glance
Nothing here is left to chance.
You're walking to your gallows
Tired
Worn
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unborn

Each day is darker than the last
Your futures slipping into the past
Your heart can't take much more of this
You're clinging to what's left of bliss

You go by without lifting your head
You go to end your life instead.
You're walking to your gallows
Wounded
One
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Undone

Oh, Jared, don't you see?
You're walking to your gallows
You're leaving me.

I Fell In Love the Last Time it Rained

I fell in love the last time it rained
Mysteries of life at last explained
All illusions of a girl
As truth's lies unfurl
I find myself lost in a dark, deep sea
Looking toward what is meant to be

Tangled in this game of pretend
Deceit and sincerity never end
Only dreams to be told
Deep in the nights cold
Ghosts of all the could've beens'
Where lies end and truth begins

I fell in love the last time it rained
Mysteries of life at last explained
All illusions of a girl
As truth's lies unfurl
You shielded me from all the pains
And I still see you when it rains