History Repeating

Like an echo from my past
You step through the door
Oh so eager to start again
To turn me into your whore
It's all been done before,
This emotional beating
That's just the game you like
To play; of history repeating

I've broken free from you before
By loosing your hold
And even in doing so
The thought has made me cold
I had learned to live with you
When all happiness is fleeting
And now your back to your
Old game; of history repeating

But now it's time to break the cycle
This cycle that’s breaking my heart
But now I see that the only time I'm happy
Is whenever we're apart
Because I'm sick of all the shit you pull
All the lying, threats and cheating
It looks like I won your
Stupid game; of history repeating

I Know Me

I'm so sick of us being like this
You feel nothing unless we kiss
You just stand there and bite your lip
What the hell is wrong with our relationship?
Screw the rhymes
Tetrameters bore me
I 'm just going tell you the truth
Because I'm tired of being someone else
I'm tired of lying to myself
And sorry for lying to you
The truth is I hate red roses
And to me violets seem purple
Isn't that why they call them violets
And as for sugar; it's not always sweet
Like me
I like to play dress up once-in-awhile
But these heels are killing me
And I never sit right in a skirt
While I'm at it I might as well
Come clean
I use unscented soup in the shower
Who likes the smell of papaya and kiwi anyway?
If it was up to me I’d cut my nails short
And throw out the polish
It's a pain in the ass to paint over chips
I guess you could call me humble
Because I'd rather be outside
Than in the mall
And I'm not the type of girl, who crushes on every guy
But you're special
I've never been the romantic type
But since I've met you
Love songs make sense
And I must admit; as embarrassing as it is
Each night I spray your brand of cologne
On my pillow
Because it reminds me of you
So look at me without the make-up
And my hair part wavy; part straight
Can you love me as I am?
I know it's unfair
To you and to me
For me to continue with this stupid façade
I know that I love you
So I'm leaving the decision to you
Love me or break me
I know myself well enough to take the news
And continue on
No matter what the answer

Tell Me How You Feel

Why can't I just break though your walls?
And find out who you really are.
I wish you would give me one chance,
But you always said I wish too much.
If only you would you take the time
To drop those lies and let me see.
You've got me twisted but I don't why.
You're messing with my head
So I can't even trust myself anymore.
Please just tell me how you feel.
Though we may be holding hands,
I'm still left a distance from you heart.
Sometimes I think you say those lies
So much you started believing them too.
What if I turned the tables on you?
Would you be able to stay away?
I wonder if you know that you’re my life,
And without you I wither and die.
When we talk I feel like I'm drowning.
Before I can get a breath,
The wave crashes down again.
Only you can save me now.
Even a few words will suffice
Please just tell me how you feel.

He is of the Earth

He is of the earth
Just a seed at his birth
A pebble I watched grow
Into what I did not know
He might be a violet flower
Never wilting in a shower
He might be a rose
A beauty nature only shows
He might be a morning glory
For generations to tell the story
Whatever he is he is my own
and a Savior the world has never known

Wish I Could Say

I lie in our bed and wait for the dawn
I haven't be the same since you've gone
My hand reaches out to touch your face
But your not there; it's just empty space
I cry and I wonder with a weary heart
Do you think of me when we're apart?
I want to say I hate you and I do
But it's leveled by my love for you

Wish I could say I'm battered and bruised
That I was rejected, neglected and used
But I can't; it's not true
I'll still be in love with you
Wish I could say I'm better without you here
That I lived in misery, desolation, and fear
But I can't; what can I do?
I just want to get over you

I walk alone beneath the pouring rain
You've gone and left me with this pain
I feel exposed when you're not around
But when you're here my loves profound
My clothes are wet; they're soaking though
I want to know if I'll survive without you
I want to say I'm glad that you left me
But I still love you; why can't you see?

Wish I could say you've cheated and lied
That you've been deceitful; that you denied
But I can't; I always knew
I was born to love just you
Wish I could say since you left I haven't cried
But the truth is that without you I die inside
Oh yes; it's so true
I'll always be in love with you

You Think You Know Me

The tension hangs between us, tightening like a vise
You smile at me smugly, never trying to be nice
You look like the world will caters to your will
'Cause breaking peoples' spirits can give cheap thrills
Your exterior shows mask a cruel child within
And your vindictive games are wearing thin
You just grin, like my actions are small
Little do you know, you don't know me at all
You look at me and see a girl with no clue
Well this girl has got a clue just for you
Don't look at me like I'm deficient of views
'Cause believe it or not I do watch the news
You think because I'm young I'm like all the rest
Like I'm just a chick with a butt and a chest
Well I'm sick of all your stereotypical shit
And I'm not saying sorry for saying it
'Cause when you think you know me you've got it wrong
I'm more than a woman, I'm influential and strong
I'm everyone who lives life in their way
While you're just a man at a loss of what to say

[Untitled]

I blow out a candle
I lit it for you
I watch the smoke rising
And wind my fingers through
Its beauty strikes me
It breaks my heart in two
I remember your face
I think of the candle as you
And the flame is your life
Which out yourself you blew
As I watch that smoke ascend
I feel like I am with you
The smoke of the candle
Will meet with you too...

Breaking the Boy

She doesn't know what she does to him
This devil with an angelic face
She teases him and tempts him
With hints of her velvet and lace
Since the very first day he saw her
His heart unfurled before her feet
Little, now, did this boy know
Her world was littered with deceit
She'd been broken many times before
By all the men in her life
She was never the kind of girl
He could take to be his wife
Despite all this he continued on
And willingly she fell for him
Always moving with the tide
Giving her heart and soul at whim
She didn't mean to hurt him
He knew it would come to this
As much as he tried to keep her
She left him with a kiss
With her gone he moved on
Trying not to place the blame
Of his passionate love gone wrong
On her heart he couldn't tame
Soon she didn't remember him
Her long forgotten toy
He was just a victim of her game
Of breaking the boy.

I Cannot Have You

You smile across the room and I know that I love you
But you don't smile at me; I know I cannot have you
What a merciless torment; when I see you everyday
Wanting to touch you, to love you in every way
A million and one scenarios, dancing through my mind
Of your lips; a tender kiss, our hearts and souls entwined
But each glance is like heartbreak, when you look but never see
The love my heart holds for you, the wreck you've made of me
Against all reason and right judgment, I'm sure I love just you
And it tears me up inside because now I know I cannot have you

So leave me to wallow in all the pain you've made
And I will just continue on and live this masquerade
I really need to wash away, all these fantasies and dreams
Because what lies beneath the surface is never what it seems
In some ways I've always known, you were out of reach
But there's something about my heart I could never teach
And you'll never know, the passion and love that you missed
The devotion that I've felt for you, an infatuation I can't resist
It seemed so easy at first; without you I still loved you
But it's so complicated now; I know I cannot have you

Do you see what your eyes cannot?

Do you see what your eyes cannot?
My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.
I buried these feelings deep down inside,
Except in your eyes, for I cannot hide.

I used to think that love was tears.
You give your all, then it disappears,
But when I'm with you I am shown,
Life isn't worth living, when living alone.

I used to see the world in black.
I'd cry for all the things I lack.
I've left behind the pain and guilt,
Tearing down these walls I've built.

I used to hide my face from light.
I lived in a world of endless night,
But there are no shadows on the sun.
Eventually the sun and moon are one.

I used to be an empty shell,
Wishing things I cannot tell.
I try to hide but you still see,
The feelings deep inside of me.

Do you see what your eyes cannot?
My heart speaks the words, my lips do not.

Dreams

I wake from a dream.
You know those dreams that leave you slowly
But you always wish they never ended.
My dreams are like that,
As quiet and soft as a breath,
But as powerful and wild as a thunderstorm.
Like a gentle kiss on the cheek,
It makes its impression and then leaves.
It leaves you grasping on to it, begging it to stay,
But it cannot.
Such is the way of things
That dreams do come and go in rhythm.
If that rhythm ever vanished,
What would become of reality?
Cold and harsh,
It is reality that forces the dream from our minds.
For in the dream, the images from the mind seem real,
But they dissolve, and physical existence is there.
The night holds enough mystery, love,
Adventure and horror to last a lifetime,
But it disappears and we must move on.

A Jaded Portrait

I walk these cold streets
These streets I've walked with you
What's left is a memory
Of dirty alleys and a dismal view
Somehow it looks so different
From the road I've walked before
It's just how I remember
Except you're not with me anymore

I struggle to see the stars
Through the billowing clouds of haze
You gave the stars their fire
The same way you set my heart ablaze
It seems like only minutes
Since your candle's been blown out
Leaving me in wanting
And now I must live on without

Without you I still see you
Locking me in your embrace
Always the romantic one
With a tragically handsome face
Now I'm left in wonder
Marveling at love and life and death
How life ends so quickly
But love continues without a breath

What is left; I bring along
A memory of love without a frame
It's just a jaded portrait
Of a tender face without a name

Along the Fading Line

I walk along the fading line,
Between reality and dreams.
Now this edge is in decline,
And nothings as it seems.

Where illusions feel so certain,
And reality seems pretend.
I'm caught behind a curtain,
When the line begins to blend.

They tell me to trust my dreams,
One day they might come true.
But when I pull apart the seams,
The fantasies begin to skew.

These delusions start spread,
And the limits keep on fading.
Steadily taking over my head,
As the distortion is pervading.

Any mark has disappeared.
It's gone without a trace,
And the line has been smeared.
There's empty in its place.

I walk along the fading line,
Between reality and dreams.
Now I'm looking for a sign,
For nothings as it seems.

Disillusioned

When I was a child I never was told
This world was so wild, unruly and cold
But tragedy never collided this close to my heart
Until Jared decided to tear my life apart
Its something that comes to all but me
Until I heard the drums of my destiny
The light of his candle had been blown away
A death I couldn't handle so I started to pray,
"God, help the people who've wandered afar
For they are the people whom hate did scar."

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

When I was naïve, people always said
Never deceive the one that you wed
What a group of liars they turned out to be
Full of impious desires and hypocrisy
Marriage is holy or so I've heard
But now love is only a fake silly word
Parents tear apart the kids they betray
So with a broken heart, I started to pray,
"God, help the lost children. They cry for a guide.
These are the children for whom your son died."

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

When I was little I was made to believe
You never belittle what others achieve.
The worlds at peace and people understand
That we all need a piece to survive in this land
Racism is dead and Hate's just a word
I would lie in my bed and never had stirred
Until somebody tore my calm world away
I could not ignore so I started to pray,
"God, help humanity. Your people are crying
Please, end the insanity. Poor people are dying"

I've reached the conclusion
There's no more delusions
So start the confusion
From this moment on
I'm disillusioned...

Walking to Your Gallows

You pass me by, you see me stare
Your eyes see a hate that isn't there.
You're walking to your gallows
Alone
Afraid
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unmade

All around you, this world is dust
Just empty words, lies and mistrust
You've tried once but it's all in vain
All you want is to end the pain

You move by without a glance
Nothing here is left to chance.
You're walking to your gallows
Tired
Worn
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Unborn

Each day is darker than the last
Your futures slipping into the past
Your heart can't take much more of this
You're clinging to what's left of bliss

You go by without lifting your head
You go to end your life instead.
You're walking to your gallows
Wounded
One
You're walking to your gallows
A man
Undone

Oh, Jared, don't you see?
You're walking to your gallows
You're leaving me.

I Fell In Love the Last Time it Rained

I fell in love the last time it rained
Mysteries of life at last explained
All illusions of a girl
As truth's lies unfurl
I find myself lost in a dark, deep sea
Looking toward what is meant to be

Tangled in this game of pretend
Deceit and sincerity never end
Only dreams to be told
Deep in the nights cold
Ghosts of all the could've beens'
Where lies end and truth begins

I fell in love the last time it rained
Mysteries of life at last explained
All illusions of a girl
As truth's lies unfurl
You shielded me from all the pains
And I still see you when it rains

Cutting the Thread

It's been many years now, locked in this prison of a home
A hell with bay windows and patio doors
I've watch as the wishes of those I love whither at your feet.
I've seen my desires sacrificed for your own petty needs
You destroyed my life, my dreams and hopes of someday
Breaking free and moving into the light beyond your shadow
You made the mistake of loosening my leash
And once I've tasted the light there's no living without
I may be just a broken down spirit, cold and dark inside like you
But I can still cut you and I've got the salt to make it sting
You hang your lies over my head by the tiniest thread
What will you do when your lies come crashing down?
All around you; a life's work of pain and deceit, shattered glass at your feet
What would you do if they found out who you were inside?
Just a selfish brat, caring about nothing unless it's yourself
When you look in the mirror do you see what I do?
A monster behind a mask, choking on smoke
I block my ears to your words, they burn anyway
I'll leave you with your misery that you've created
So carefully around yourself, trapping you inside
I'm going from the darkness to bathe in the warmth of the sun.

I Don't Believe in Love

I don't believe in love,
It's fairy tale that never comes true.
I don't believe in love,
Because love never follows through.

Please tell me why
I should believe a lie
I don't believe in love.
Love is just an illusion
Confusion and delusion
I don't believe in love

I don't believe in love,
It's a story to help you sleep at night.
I don't believe in love
It's both a legend and a painful plight

Please tell me why
I should believe a lie
I don't believe in love.
Love is just an illusion
Confusion and delusion
I don't believe in love

I don't believe in love
In the end it always makes you cry
I don't believe in love
When he leaves me with Good-bye

Sadistic Devotion

Sweet dreams, Good night
Whisper softly, "Put out the light"
Warm lips, Love erased
Fade away, Warmth's replaced
Cold ice, Visions gone
And its hours until the dawn
Red roses, Candle stick
Melt away, Burnt out the wick
Salty tears, Broken glass
The love we had is lost, Collapse
Pained screams, Star watch
Fall away, Drunk half the scotch
Bruised cheek, Kisses sweet
Lost words when fist and face meet
Sadistic devotion, Amorous hate
Waste away, but it's too late.

No Longer, No More

Gentle kisses reach my lips no longer
Tender touches feel my skin no more
My heart is aching for you to be with me
I cannot hide this feeling anymore
It hurts me thinking of my life without you
My world is falling, crashing to the ground
Thunder rolls as I wait for you in vain
It's clear to me now you're no longer mine
Sweet whispers find my ear no longer
Silent love enters my heart no more
How... can this be?
I loved you... and you loved me
I lie in bed each night calling out your name
I wake every morning reaching for you
I live each day wishing you were here
I want... gentle kisses, tender touches,
sweet whispers and silent "I love you's"

Gypsies By Twilight

In daylight we are children holding our mothers' hands
In nighttime we are Bohiemiens traveling in our gypsy band
The day can get so boring, of school we often tire
While waiting for the night to come so we can dance beside the fire
With rings on our fingers and bells on our toes
We sing to the moon where ever she goes
The violin plays quickly by the fire's light
The wise owl takes in the sight
Of our scarves waving through the air
As we stick flowers in our hair
By day we sit patiently waiting for the night
And when the sun begins to fade we're gypsies by twilight.

The Storm Breaker

My heart, it was so lonely
I thought it would beat for him only
Thought the storm would never fade away
Looking to the times of yesterday
All hope was nearly lost
No getting through no matter the cost
Then like a rainbow through the clouds
Spoke to me the most heavenly of sounds
My soul you lifted
Made me feel gifted
Restored my hope and love
You were sent from above
Baby, you chased my clouds away
And opened the sky for a bright new day
With you by my side I can touch the sky
Kissing all my worries and fears goodbye

The Daydreamer

While in school my mind does roam
To a place where Dragons have a home
Where Princes and Princess doth dwell
And Faeries speak secrets I dare not tell
Where water flows so deep and dark
And trees reach skyward with twisting bark
Where mountains stand so steep and tall
And Mermaids swim by a waterfall
Who knows where my mind may reach
When my teacher starts to teach

Reflections of Imperfection

I look into this distorted glass
A cruel image comes back to me
And it breaks me more than I do it
When I see the face I hate to see

But now I'm caught inside that glass
Trapped with the spirits of dignity
And the ghosts of my self-esteem
Can I live in anonymity?

Or must I face the world this way?
Must I stay and face rejection
Or can I just stare into the broken glass
At my reflections of imperfection.

Beauty is just Skin Deep

You broke my heart, you made me cry,
Without even giving me a try.
You judged by how I looked,
Just like I was some old book,
And I was wrong I should have guessed,
Why wouldn't you be like all the rest?
But now you ask me if I would
Go out with you, I don't think I should.

Because yesterday isn't that far away,
You didn't like me then, then why today.
So forget about now, let's think about then,
And if I've changed please tell me when.

My hair is long, my teeth are straight,
And now you're asking me for a date.
Who I am still hasn't changed.
Just my looks, isn't that strange,
That your mind changed when I'd
Changed my outside, not inside.
I'm looking for someone who loves
The me that was given from above.

Because yesterday isn't that far away,
You didn't like me then, then why today.
So forget about now, let's think about then,
And if I've changed please tell me when.

I thought you were honest
Thought you were caring
Thought you were everything I wanted.
But, oh no, I was wrong.
I should have known it all along.

Beauty is just skin deep,
It's the heart you got to keep.
But if you look into my eyes,
You'll see their owner's gotten wise,
And you'll see what you did wrong.
There's no more trying to belong.

I'll Think of You

Every time I see the midnight sky,
And the crescent moon shinning high above me,
With the stars shimmering their precious light,
Whenever the day becomes the night, I'll think of you.

Every time I close my eyes,
And slowly, gently drift off to sleep,
With lights flashing inside my head,
Whenever I'm alone in my bed, I'll dream of you.

Every time I see lovers pass my way,
And I wish I had a lover to call my own,
With the way they look into each others eyes,
Whenever someone cries, I'll remember you.

Every time I hear a love song,
And the melody makes me sing,
With the notes dancing along,
Whenever I sing a song, I'll sing for you.

I'll think of you.