rain in midtown

Just outside Grand Central Station,
I am pushing through the crowds
Between the walls of glass and stone
below a sky that's free of clouds.

When on my cheek I feel a drop,
away, I wipe it like a hair,
look in puzzlement at the sky
and continue on to Pershing Square.

I feel another droplet fall,
hit cold and wet upon my arm
like icy little pins they start
and each one fills me with alarm.

The sky still far and clear and blue
reflects its light on mirrored tower.
No one is reaching for umbrellas
in preparation for the coming shower.

Along Madison Avenue
the rain begins to pour.
It soaks through my ivory blouse
and chills me to my very core.

But on the street, not one looks up,
their heads and clothes stay dry.
As puddles forms inside my shoes
bike messengers and business men go by.

My hair is sticking to my face.
Water is collecting by my feet.
Make-up is running from my eyes
as I turn right on 38th St.

The flood begins on the corner
when the streetlights change to red.
Waves of water rush past cabs
and splash into the traffic ahead.

The rainwater rises but no one cares.
They walk unfazed below the tide
as I choke on liquid, gasp for breath
praying for the waters to subside.

I struggle to hold to the building's side
As the waters continue to rise.
My fingers slip, I fall below,
hands reaching up to clear blue skies.

Below the surface, the water's cold
it's iciness numbs my fear.
I close my eyes to fall asleep.
I hope nobody finds me here.

Karma

Did I think it would be easy?
Just a simple change for the best.
How could I aim to change my world
Without pain, without sacrifice, without regret.

It goes around, it comes around
My past, my future and fate.
Lift me up or break me down,
I'll build me back again.
Karma cannot keep me down
I'll rise up once again.

Did you think I would give in?
Just simply throw it all away.
How couldn't you see the strength in me
With all this pain, and sacrifice and regret.

It goes around, it comes around
My past, my future and fate.
Lift me up or break me down,
I'll build me back again.
Karma cannot keep me down
I'll rise up once again.

Did it all turn out okay?
Simple just an ending sigh.
How I can't wait to see the triumph here
Despite bygone pain, sacrifice regret.

Yellowwood Road

I watch the ground move
Beneath my feet.
Over my head,
A sky that would have brought me to tears.
I miss it.
Diligently, I map the ground.
Staying where it's solid,
Don't veer off this concrete sidewalk.
Quickly, I move, so diligently.
The destinations blurred
Losing sight of my surroundings
Joylessly, I stay the course, so diligently, so quickly.
As the seasons change.
This is not where I want to be.
The leaves fall
The snow falls
And I f
a
l
l...
Spring, pick me up again.
Gladly, I find my way, so carefree, so slowly.
Through brush and marsh and earthly land
To find my way on my own
Alone, alone
The ground, the sky.

Quicksand

Don't tell me that you've faltered again.
I don't care to here your excuses anymore.
You didn't just trip by accident;
You threw yourself down at his feet again.
I bite my tongue for you just once
when I didn't say I told you so, right then.

That boy is quicksand.
He thrives on your struggle
And the harder you pull
The deeper you sink
you sink
you sink

Can't say you shock me but you disappoint
And I find that I hate him
When the hate I feel should be yours.
It's not my place to be strong for you.
Pull yourself out this time.
I'm no longer your rope, anymore.

That boy is quicksand.
The deeper you plunge
And the more you submerge
You just give in
give in
give in

Won't be moved by your pleas
When the tragedy you love calls
And the one you feel nothing for
Is valued more than your self-worth.
You know what you must do
Is what you should have done long ago.

That boy is quicksand.
Struggle, girl, struggle.
You've already given him all
Now you're gone
you're gone
you're gone

Poison Rationality

In times like these, Fate chips me,
Whittles away my fortitude,
Bit by stubborn bit of self-resilience.
O, to learn what freedom is
And allow it to fall,
But I am too strong.
I curse my tight grip,
I rue my intensity,
And I hate my might.
Take back your burden!
I carry enough for ten,
Yet you push on more
When I still carry my own.
Doom, you are a cruel tyrant
And Fate, you are a blind lover.
Release me from my duty of strength,
That's leading me to hate.
I haven't known liberty
Since I've known life.
My stomach burns acid,
My heart aches blood and
My brain leaks poison rationality.
Too much, O please, too much.
I do not know what is worse:
The electric-dull pain
Or knowing I will be just fine
If only my eyes would cry.

To My Confidant

Move my heart to move
In the direction of my intentions.
Can you help my arms to hold
my love without "I love you?"
What's your reaction to my inaction
When you assure what seems unsure?
Still I speak my truthless speech
And I quiet my disquietude.
O, are you mad at my madness?
I expect that, respect that, accept that.
Because in the end I always reach my ends.
So be strong and give me strength.
I'm sane toward my insanity,
Yes, I believe the unbelievable.
Still you dare me to be daring.
I will do what I must do.